she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize