I must be too annoying 4 u.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
