I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
