There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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