That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize