oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
