I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
