Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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