ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
