We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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