should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
