I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize