just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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