Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
