Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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