I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
