Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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