he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
