you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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