I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
