You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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