At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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