I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
