Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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