You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
