I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
