note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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