I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We talked him into tasing himself.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
