rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
