I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
