i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
