FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i think my cat just said my name.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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