I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
