***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize