I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
