Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
