You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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