party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
