Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize