I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
whose parrot is this?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
