there were more penises there than on chat roulette
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
