fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
honey bunches of taint.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
