i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
