All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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