i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
