STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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