For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
