question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
