he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
