Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
