I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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