I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
