Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
