the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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