walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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