She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
