Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
