You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I smell stomach acid.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
