Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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