I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
