That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
