when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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