I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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