Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
