Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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