Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
