Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
