she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
