i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
