hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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