i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
