it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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