i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
